About

The chronicles of a man who struggles with depression and autism while practicing family medicine. I will discuss issues including a unique view of medicine and medical issues thru autistic eyes.

As it is not usual for someone with autism being in such a field that requires so much personal contact, I feel that my blog is unique and thus has something to offer many readers, or so I hope. I will have multiple posts regarding medicine issues: mostly my experiences as a health care provider who deals with pediatrics, ob/gyn and end of life care. Also how I deal with specific issues such as patients dying, personal hygiene, etc.

I will also blog on depression and how it affects my life and alters my view. But the main focus of my blog will be on autism. Being diagnosed with it, being a teenager and surviving highschool with it.. My experiences in an ivy league school with this “disorder”, my experience in medical school which is full of type a personalities, and my experience as a practicing family medicine physician.

Warning: As someone with high functioning autism, my writing can be very dry and be filled with facts and information. Consider this a warning for all of my posts.

Comments
  1. Scott Shea says:

    I am sorry but I forgot how I came across your blog. I hope you did not mind me linking to it. I think it will be an interesting look that we might not otherwise get but totally understand your desire for privacy.

  2. D says:

    It’s a shame that you don’t seem to be active on here any longer. I would have valued a resource such as this greatly through my first year of med school.

  3. no one says:

    Hello,
    i feel sorry with you. Please know that, you are not alone. i am also an HFA like you.
    thank you for sharing.
    i would like to share my experience as an autism here.

    i feel like i am alone ever since i was born.i have no friend. i am always in intense anxiety among people. i can be diagnosed social phobia. and because of this social phobia, my social skill is very poor. as a result , i cannot make friends with people. and i feel very lonely all the time, consciously or subconsciously.
    i hope some days you open and read my reply. thank you again.

  4. Christopher says:

    I came across your page while searching for doctors with autism.
    Typically i think you are being excessively critical of your work and self.
    Dont judge your work based on number of visitors, it is just not mainstream stuff.
    What youve written is very interesting and definitely unique.
    It gives me strength to see that there are others who have tried before me .
    Your page needs to be available because this is frontier material for other HFAs like us.

  5. A'me says:

    I just came across this blog. I am pretty sure I have HFA, though I have never been officially diagnosed. I too have had diagnoses from major depression (definitely), double depression (probably), OCD (yes), bipolar (no way in hell). I was on track to get ECT but never got it because of logistical problems.

    Anyway, I am heading into veterinary school interviews at the end of this month, and I found some tactics on your blog to be helpful because I just don’t understand people all that well. I have memorized certain facial movements (a.k.a. ‘expressions’) and what they mean, but I can’t contextualize them all that well.

    Thanks so much for posting this blog. I really enjoyed it.

  6. Juniarto says:

    Hi.. I’m a medstudent from Indonesia. I stumble upon your blog while searching for physician with HFA. The thing is I have a fellow medical student with HFA too and he’s having difficulty in doing the clinical rotation. Is there anyway I can contact you to ask about your opinion in overcoming this problem?

    Thank you so much!

  7. Vino Apok says:

    I am a senior neurosurgery registrar with Autistic Disorder. To answer your question about stress (which is a common misunderstanding I have faced throughout), the key is for everyone including the person with autism to understand and be aware that what they consider stressors may not be what society considers stressful and vice versa. Using myself as an example, I do not find neurosurgery stressful. I enjoy the attention to detail required, the operating which I find stimulating instead of stressful and the high emotional environment is perfect for someone like me – because I never lose my cool. My stress only manifests when bullied, threatened or intimidated (all of which I have experienced). And as for suicidality, yes, when subjected to prolonged (eg. four years) of bullying, I have become suicidal but never from the stress of practising neurosurgery alone. Hope this helps.

    • alyssa says:

      Just found this blog. I do not have autism but I applaud you all for sharing a bit of yourself. I have found this blog very amazing n insightful. You all are very open and courageous, inspiring individuals

  8. Andrew says:

    I am glad your blog is active again as I am also a doctor with autism having recently retired from a career in Accident and Emergency Medicine after 40 years clinical practice.Like the neurosurgical registrar I had very similar experiences. Medicine was a special interest which I coped with reasonably well but am now struggling with the transition to retirement at 64.

  9. Christa says:

    You share interesting things here. I think that your blog
    can go viral easily, but you must give it initial boost and i know how to do it,
    just type in google for – mundillo traffic increase go viral

  10. sam says:

    Glad I’ve finally found another doctor out there with autism. I’m just beginning my discovery

  11. Daisy D. says:

    I feel for people like you. I am so in love with a man that is autistic just like you, but it’s hard because I want to help and I don’t know how to help. He needs protection but how do you protect a doctor?…He was taken advantage of and married a HO that stayed with him and that took all his money and ruined him financially, forcing him to support her whole family and used him for years like a retard on a leash, so very wrong. He is so naive and it hurts. Autistic people can be so smart but also so vulnerable and naive and that’s sad because evil unscrupulous people will prey on that vulnerability and gullibility. It truly hurts. I wish I could help more. He is the best doctor there is, so honest so intelligent, I would not trust anybody else.

    • Andrew says:

      This sounds like the story of my life. Although I managed a career as an A/E hospital specialist where life was very structured my social and home life was a disaster with 3 marriages which all ended in expensive divorces.I am retired now and I think the professional barriers to people with autism having a career even in non clinical medicine are becoming more difficult in the UK where I worked.

  12. Kaatya says:

    Vino, be my doctor, let’s make something together, Iris Grace, how communicate, Vino read my paper.

    How be heathy autistic, we need very little

    Vino, I can I unwrap broca with neocortex.

    Prime calligraphy motorics.

    How speak out.

    Vino we cancelled depression

  13. Tom says:

    Do you know of any online support group(s) for practicing physicians with autism? Please, would you kindly share contact information for those groups with me directly or here on the site? What therapeutic approaches have most helped you mitigate your autism symptoms at work?

  14. Sabrina says:

    I enjoyed reading this blog. Is it still active? Will there be more entries?

  15. Hey Vino, I wrote you some time ago, I am Autistic as well, so I wrote you like to a doctor and then I made an image like quantum machine instruction and then I found Nigerian people and they fixed me because they are mathematical and they have soul and they don’t feed disfunction but teach you well so I can learn myself turning the gears. Because we are probabilistic betters. I have eidetic perception and I made program about this in which all functional components are selected true, authenticated via true factors in life. Here it is http://unochannel.blogspot.cz/2016/06/i-have-ability-to-quantum-process.html?view=magazine

    Kaatya Kelly

  16. Jamie Shields says:

    Hello.

    I am the mother of a very intelligent and caring autistic son. He is 17 and I am encouraging him to become a doctor. Do you have any words of wisdom for us? I think my son is very capable, but I worry a little about the stress of medical school… Any insight would be helpful!

  17. Madisen Cotter says:

    Hello Vino,

    Are you still here? It has been a while since you posted or commented. Are you alright?

  18. Kamil Fuchs says:

    Hello,
    I’m a dutch physiotherapist with autism and adhd, I really enjoy your blog. Please keep on posting!
    btw, you are not alone:
    http://www.artsenmetautisme.nl/en/
    We are autistic doctors, psychologists, nurses, medical students, etc…
    We are open about it, with interviews in medical journals, and on internet. We are not aimed at informing non-autistic people (it’s their responsibility), we want to reach as many people as possible in the field, get strength in numbers, but also to have people get proper diagnosis. Ultimately, to prevent personal tragedies.

  19. Alex says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s interesting to read your blog. Unfortunately, I wasn’t successful with my fight against all this stigma, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, etc that feels a person in a medical field. I had to leave my medical school in the US because I became a stranger in an extraverted society. I’m still recovering, but I feel I couldn’t tolerate the hostility that I faced in that particular school. It’s been 3 years already since I withdrew, but I still feel that I would not choose any other field besides medicine. It was so hard for me as an immigrant to gain acceptance to medical school (it took almost 8 years). And, I lost it in 3 months. I feel my life was a waste of time and resources.

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