The abyss

Posted: August 6, 2011 in depression
Tags: , ,

I sit on the couch, all of my muscles feel exhausted even though I have over slept by 4 hours. My thoughts form slowly, my mind working at sluggish speeds. Even though it is just the beginning of the day I feel like I have run a marathon and then had to take a 2 hours calculus test. It is almost like I am drugged, dragging myself thru a fog.

In addition to this exhaustion I am have no interest in common things. I can’t find myself caring about anything, I am not drawn to music or hobbies. Thinking about playing guitar, or even going outside seem like unobtainable goals.

But worst of all is the feeling of being alone. I feel unattached to anyone. No connections to the outside world. I float along thru the mass of humans with no attachment to the masses. It feels like a dark abyss, large and empty. Surrounded by a gulf of darkness. My body remains untouched, my skin isolated from the electricity of humanity.

My mind tells me to escape. To do anything possible to leave my current situation. I am like an animal who is caught in a cage, my vision is narrow and I can only think of the immediate present. I am unable to visualize the future and the consequences.

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Comments
  1. Paper Tiger says:

    i can relate. thanks for writing this.

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